I hope you know that every party I go to, every dinner with friends, I wait for your message asking me if you can crash that party to get booze after frisbee practice. You’d tell me it’d finish late, about 9 PM, so I’ll have to wait till you got there.
“Let me read what you’re submitting!”
“No, I don’t want to! You’re good at this thing, and I’m terrible at it! I swear. I just typed this up really fast last night!”
“No you didn’t! You stayed up all night to finish this, I know.”
I don’t know why I never told you I loved you. I think I figured that like all things in my life, the chance would come in good time. I thought we’d come around soon enough, when you were done making your mistakes as I obviously was trying to finish up with all of mine.
I think I was afraid that the one man I thought I wanted to spend my life with might actually want to spend it with someone else if I came forward too soon, too untimely.
“Happy birthday.”
“Aww.. Thanks! You remembered!”
“Of course I did, you owe me booze.”
“Haha yeah! I remember! Absinthe and more! It’s fine with you if you join my friends?
It was really uneventful, how I found out you had left me for good. I received an instant message from our friend. I think I cried for the next five hours, before my mother pulled me away from being frozen in front of the computer screen and forced me to have dinner.
After weeks of what I now acknowledge as pure cowardice, I took a friend along to visit you one last time.
“You, you’re the sunflower girl.”
At that moment, my head, my heart, they burst into a hundred million pieces in flurry from years of restraint.
